Facebook for your Tweens?

This is already such a tough transition age and now we have social media and your child is begging you to get a Facebook account "just like everyone else!"  What should you do?

I am right there with ya! It is hard to know what to do and when is the right time to give in.

I recently, relented and opened a joint Facebook (FB) account with my 11 y/o daughter. We opened it jointly since she is legally below the age to do so and so that she knows I am monitoring everything she does.

Having moved a lot, we have friends in many different states & countries so keeping in touch with old friends was one strong motivation that tugged at my heart to say "yes". But aside from that, there are a LOT of her peers on there already so you know the power of that pressure. In the end, I decided to go for it.

Set SECURE Options:
I helped her set everything up and chose the strongest security options for everything so that ONLY that handpicked friends can see her photos or see any personal stuff.

Set RULES about 3rd Party apps:
We discussed the 3rd party apps (like Farmville, Sorority Life & all those quizzes) and how they can often contain unacceptable ads, etc. Our rule is that they are all OUTLAWED from the start and exceptions can be requested (like that office-speak?) on a case-by-case basis. LOL This way we are clear and there is no room for, "Oh, but MOM, I thought this one was OK!"

Make sure YOU receive the email notices:
My daughter has her OWN email address @gmail, BUT I get a copy of every single one. This is no secret spying, she knows this is the price to pay for getting to play online. This way when someone sends her a friend request or other notification, I see it usually before she even does since she's only online a few times a week.

Take advantage of this bonding opportunity:
Be sure that you interact with your child online in a fun way (nothing embarassing... MOM!) ;)  Like her comments, comment on her photos, etc. Help your child to feel encouraged when she expresses herself.

I am a firm believer that we are supposed to teach our kids how to make it "out there" and then support them as they "fly".  I was really a proud mama the other day, when she came to me and asked for help in removing a "friend" from school from her FB. She wanted to remove him because he used the "F" word in a status update.

It's a scary time ... trying to trust her as she grows into this wild & crazy world. But we'll get through it together the best we can. I hope these tips help YOU!

OUR POLL about this shows that most of our readers are AGAINST a FB account for tweens... what do you think?

HERE is another good article on this topic from The Online Mom